Get Rich Quick
by Dlvvanzor
Summary: Starfire needs money and Robin is incredibly attractive. There has got to be a clever way to make these two things work together. Oneshot, crack.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**A/N: Posted this originally in 2005 when I first got to this site. It's now 2012 and I like it too much to get rid of it, so I decided to revise a bit. It's almost exactly the same, just fixed some errors and smoothed out some awkward writing.**

* * *

_BEEP._

Robin's hated alarm clock screamed him awake at some ungodly time. A fist came out and slammed it. Luckily he had bought the grumpy teenager resistant one so it didn't shatter into a million tiny pieces. The sound stopped but it had done its job— Robin was awake, sort of, and crawling out of his bed.

He took a shower, got dressed, and put on his… wait… where was his mask? That little strip of black fabric that inexplicably clung to his face? "Don't panic," he told himself. "The worst that could happen is that the whole public could find out who you are, therefore betraying Batman and practically giving yourself away to Slade."

There was a knock on his door. "Robin? You are normally awake by now. Are you ill? May I come in?"

Starfire.

Robin's eyes went wide. "Um… I'm, um… not dressed?"

Excellent lie, very smooth. He mentally patted himself on the back. _'Nice one.'_

Starfire, outside his door, had a rather strange look in her eye. "I suspect that you may be lying."

"No! I'm not!" Robin assured her hurriedly. "Don't come in!"

Mysteriously, several dozen Robin fangirls appeared around her in a small crowd. Starfire looked crafty, and her eyes slid side to side. "He is not dressed," she explained at a stage-whisper.

There was a rumble of muffled giggles, and one girl whispered, "Open it!" This was followed by many silent nods of agreement.

Starfire put on her best innocent voice, and the girls quickly cranked their cameras. "Robin, we are— I mean _I_ am— worried about you. Please come out!"

His voice from inside the room sounded very official. "I'm sorry Starfire. I can't do that. Now if you would please…"

"I will not let you hurt yourself! You leave me no choice!" She tore the door off its hinges, and several of the fangirls dropped to the floor at the sight of his unmasked eyes.

One wasn't so pleased, however, and piped up, "Hey! He's not naked!"

"Yeah, what a rip off!" another agreed suddenly, an excellent psychological examination of the suggestibility of crowds. "I want my money back!"

Starfire sighed. "Yes, yes. Perhaps some other time." One by one, she returned the girls' money and they angrily stormed away.

Robin was apoplectic. "You sold tickets to see my naked body!"

"Yes."

"_Why_?"

"Well, my lemonade stand wasn't coming through…"

"So you charged twenty dollars to see my naked body."

"Yes…"

"You're crazy!" he shouted, suddenly enraged again. "I can't believe you would do this!"

She cringed. "I am sorry."

"Charge fifty next time! Do _all_ aliens have no business sense or is it just you?!"

She stared at him.

"And I want half the profits," he added.

"O…kay?"

"Good," he said, satisfied. He pulled her conspiratorially close and for a few hours, they discussed logistics.

* * *

With all the drama worthy of someone raised by Batman, Robin slammed his door.

This time, appropriate advertisement had been put in place so the audience was larger— 107 at last count, which had admittedly been a while ago.

Starfire took a deep breath and prepared for her performance.

With all the emotion she could muster (which was a lot, as she was Tamaranian), she cried, "Robin! You are normally awake by this time! ARE YOU ILL!"

Robin's melodramatic voice came from the other side. "No Starfire. I am not ill. I am simply…" he paused dramatically, "…naked."

Starfire began to weep as if her heart had been torn from her body. "Robin! Please! You are not being truthful! I know that something is wrong! Why will you not let me help you?"

The fangirls wept alongside her. Clung to each other and sobbed freely.

"No!" Robin howled, "You cannot help me. I must be alone. I must deal with this… by myself."

"Let me in!"

"No!"

"Then I have no choice!"

For show, she charged up a huge ball of righteous fury, letting the pure power of it blow her hair in all directions. With a love-filled, "I am doing this for you!" she released the starbolt at his door (a prop), shattering it into a million (Styrofoam) pieces.

Robin stood, naked as the day he was born, in his Slade stance.

Apparently his reaction time had gone from split-second to slightly slower than that of an opossum, and Robin stood there motionlessly for several minutes. Then he very-abruptly noticed his nudity and the gaping girls and tried (and failed) to cover himself, staring at the company in horror.

At the agreed-upon moment, Starfire stepped in front of him and said to the dumbstruck fans, "I guess he was not lying. That will be fifty dollars, plus an extra one hundred for a picture. Right now, as a special offer, postcards are only $74.99."

They made quite a bit of money that day.

* * *

The 'Robin is Nakey' act, as it became known, was an overnight success. Seeing the rise of demand in foreign markets, Robin and Starfire eventually took their act global, flashing the fangirls in Paris, Egypt, Morocco, China, Japan, Antarctica (penguins are surprisingly fond of porn, Beast Boy explained), Washington DC, Mexico, and several parts of Hawaii.

Needless to say, by the end, they were both assured to want for nothing for the rest of their lives.


End file.
